My Abbrieviated Stay in Bangkok

Welcome to “Land of Smiles”

That’s what the sign said passing through customs at SuvarnabhumI International Airport in Bangkok, and yes I meant to exclude the word “the”. I haven’t found it to be that so much; not just yet. More like “land of indifference“, or “land of how to make a quick buck.” Unless the sign meant “Land of People Smiling at some huge inside joke directed towards farang (which is basically the Thai word for Caucasian, though it also means mango. I‘ve heard a lot of farang eating farang jokes, some directed at me)”. Granted I’ve only been here less than a few hours, and I’ve only spoken to a handful of people, but every one of them has said something to me in Thai, knowing full well that I don’t understand them, and then had a chuckle to themselves or shared with a buddy. I find it pretty amusing myself.
Recalling all the horror stories about Thai law-enforcement and their massive campaign against drug traffickers, I assumed customs would be a nightmare, especially if I looked as uncouth and bedraggled as I felt. Uh-uh. They only checked one mother-fuckin bag! I couldn’t believe it. It lasted all of 3 minutes or so, including the line to get through. Amazing. While standing in the queue, wearing my Big Sky Coffee shirt that I acquired from Jules and Peter Nesmith (I’m sure she wants it back), I was surprised to hear a very familiar and friendly Southern drawl speak up behind me, “Oh my Gawd! You’re from Athens?!! I’m from Russell!” Russell, Georgia I presumed. I turned around and found a tall, dreaded Georgia girl gawking back at me. I corrected her, and told her that, “No, I’m actually from Gainesville.” “Oh my Gawd, Gainesville, Georgia?!? My mom’s from Gainesville.” I again corrected her mistake, but it was still such a small-world sensation running into somebody like that at the airport in Bangkok, as she probably wouldn’t have said anything to me had I not been wearing that shirt.
The airport in Bangkok is not that large, although the ceilings reach up into the friggin heavens. Since I was going to be spending the next 7 or so hours here, I figured I might as well find a suitable nesting spot and make myself comfortable. On the way to the departure area I was harangued by several tuk-tuk drivers insisting that I allow them to take me to a hotel of their choosing. I told them that I was spending the night at the airport, and of course they thought that was a horrible idea. They were probably right, but I anticipated all manner of cluster-fucks had I decided to rent a room for the night. I could even see a large hotel, called Novotel, about a half-mile away outside the airport entrance, but knowing my luck and ability to sleep in, I didn’t want to chance it.
After making my way through the cut-throat cab drivers, I passed small food-court area. I decided to grab a bite before settling down for the next several hours, and though I was tempted to try some of the Thai food, I didn’t want my first Thai meal from the Bangkok airport. So, locating the most Western looking restaurant, I ordered a grilled cheese sandwich with fries and a coke. Not the most delectable GC in the world, in fact I’m sure Cecil could make a better one, but the fries were tolerable and the coke helped it go down easier.
Found a comfortable bench next to an Asian man on his way to Kiev. We kept each other company through the limited communication we could muster. It was bright as all get out in that airport, so it was difficult falling asleep. Woke up around 6 a.m. to go get my final plane ticket, and after securing my bags I went and brushed my teeth and washed my face in the bathroom near my gate. The flight up to Chiang Mai was a cinch after all that I’d already been through, but once again no window seat so I wasn’t able to see any of the city as we descended, except that there was a huge mountain overlooking the entire town, called Doi Suthep as I was soon to find out.
Getting rained on right now, so I’m going to make a dash for home, but as soon as I get there I’ll post some shit about my first days in Chiang Mai. Finally.