Chiang Mai Traffic

Before leaving the airport, before even getting in the car, I took in a hearty breath of what I expected to be Buddha-blessed fresh Chiang Mai air, after coughing out the toxic stew I'd inhaled in my brief stay at the nation's capital of course. However, my nostrils were greeted with the same polluted perfume as that of Bangkok. And I was soon to find out why.

The traffic in Chiang Mai is crazier than a snake's armpit. And I'm sure it's the same all over Thailand. Finally, a country I can relate to in terms of transportation; I'm sure you're all aware of my disregard for traffic law. As Berm drove me to Santitham Guest House, the first thing I noticed is that there were scooters fucking EVERYWHERE! There are about twenty to thirty scooters to every car in Thailand. Beyond those, there are several three-wheeled open-air tuk-tuks and sawngthaews, red covered pick-up trucks that act as the primary taxi service in town. These are both un-metered, leaving the fare up to the discretion of the driver. Most of my rides have cost me between 40 and 100 baht, or no more than three USD's. A lot of people hitch-hike when travelling to sections outside the city limits, offering only food or cigarettes as payment, although I have yet to try this. There are also a small handful of metered-taxis, called thaeksii miitoe, which are relatively new to Thailand, but I haven't tried any of these opting instead to bargain with the tuk-tuk and sawngthaew drivers who take me for a thin-skinned farang. But for the most part I've just used a bicycle that I've borrowed from Noland, the owner of Santitham who is still over in the States. My most used Thai expression is mai, or mai cab, which means no cab. It's saved me a lot of money and hassle.

As we entered the insane flow of traffic, I noticed there were many traffic-lights and signs but almost all are ignored, as is the right of way at intersections and oncoming traffic. Thais don't give two shits about driving on the wrong side of the road. Despite all this, I have yet to see one traffic accident in the two weeks I've been here. Incredible.

About halfway to Santitham, towards the middle of Chiang Mai, is a square section of city called Old Town; about two miles long on each side and surrounded by a dilapidated brick wall and a murky-ass moat which were built some 600 years ago to keep the Burmese out. I would spend much of my time in Chiang Mai hanging out within this walled square, not counting my excursions outside of the city.

Back to the traffic. I have no idea where all these people were going, but there weren't nothing gonna stop em. There's about 1.6 million people residing in Chiang Mai, and about 1.5 million of them are driving at all times, day or night. And back to the scooters, I mean Christ on a scooter I can't get over them! I've seen maybe three helmets since I've been here, and some of these people drive their entire families around on one scooter; we're talking three or four heads deep! And apparently the only function of the traffic police in this country is to distribute wheel-boots to whoever parks in front of a temple or 7-11, of which there are thousands of both, but I'll get to that in a later post.

After an eye-opening and nostril-soiling drive to my guest house, which is in a very un-touristy part of town, of which I am thankful, Berm and I unpacked my bags and headed inside. More about my Santitham and the rest of my first days in Chiang Mai next post.

On a side-note, I know I've posted very little about my time in Chiang Mai, but Berm just came to my house to inform me that his monk friend from Wat Doi Suthep, the mountainside monastery, would be coming down into town tomorrow to pick up some cement, and that I would be joining him on his trip back to begin my first english lesson. I should be up there at least a couple of days, so I'll try and finish as many posts tonight as possible. Kinda nervous about the solitude, but at least I'll fuckin learn how to levitate!