A Florida Cracker in King Bhumibol's Court, Part 2: Wat Phrathat Doi Suthep, or Buddha's Shoulder Blade and the Legend of the White Elephant

Legend has it that a Buddhist monk, sometime in the 14th Century, found a relic in Pang Cha that was believed to be the shoulder blade of none other than Buddha himself. After taking the bone to Northern Thailand and presenting it to King Nu Naone of the Lannas, it was placed on the back of a white elephant that was then released into the jungle somewhere around present-day Lamphun, not far from Chiang Mai. The albino pachyderm eventually wandered up to the summit of Doi Suthep, trumpeted three times and then collapsed in death at the site of which is now Wat Phrathat, one of the holiest temples in Thailand.

On my first trip up to the magical mountain, that first week in Thailand, I didn't expect to be accompanied by two rude, loud-mouth Americans from NYC, but even their constant jibber-jabbering could not tarnish the mystical air that surrounded the temple upon our approach. A friend of Berm's had agreed to take the three of us up in his car for a small sum, and after 30-minutes of winding mountain road, we arrived at the base of the temple. It was early in the evening, around six o'clock, but most of the visitors and tourists had already dispersed for the day. The temple had not closed, in fact I don't think it ever closes, and our late arrival proved to be the perfect opportunity to witness the monks in their normal evening routines, without the distraction of crowds of onlookers.

The long and steep stair-case from the parking lot to the golden pagodas of the temple-proper gave me ample time to distance myself from my annoying companions, as they repeatedly had to stop for breath. I told them I'd see them at the summit and left them behind. As I climbed the 300-and-some stone steps with the help of what looked like ivory hand-rails, a steady and serene hum filled the air, slowly drowning out the drone of cicadas, or whatever Thailand's equivalent is to that loud-ass bug. When I finally reached the top, what little air I still had in my lungs was immediately robbed by the utterly staggering pulchritude of the temple grounds, particularly the large phallic pagoda of gold (or golden chedi, as they're referred to in Thailand) protruding from the center. It was certainly unlike anything I had ever seen in my sheltered American life.

I wandered the grounds for a little while, basking in the spiritually-charged, mountain-cool evening air. I discovered a roomful of meditating monks as the source of the serendipitous hum, and another breath-taking sight: an extensive balcony with a stunning overlook view of Chiang Mai; the city lit up in the early evening and pulsating with life. I must have been some 6000 feet elevated with an entity of over one-million people at my feet. I couldn't fucking wait to take pictures in the daytime, as my puny camera only came up blurs. With the monks slowly making their way to bed, I realized I'd have to come back some other time to get the full Doi Suthep experience, so I met up with the wenches from New York and we made our way to the exit. On our way out, one more surreal sight, this one a little contradictory to everything preceding it. A couple of younger monks, late-teens, sitting off to the side in the dark, with a small hand-held radio in their hands listening to the sultry sounds of Celine Dion. Fucking Thailand, man. Still, I couldn't wait to return.